I think all of us must feel this way from time to time. Isn't it human nature to fall into the mindset of, "What have I done to deserve this?" When life seems to be running smoothly, and the blessings flow, do we stop to ask what we have done to deserve the happiness? No, probably not. The truth is that life is not about what we do or do not deserve. I am a mother. Nothing that I have done in my life is great enough to deserve the children that I have. My children are gifts from God. I need to work on seeing the harder situations in my life as gifts as well.
This past week, there was a classroom discussion of what we cling to when everything else seems to be falling apart. What keeps us going? What would we not want to live without? By the end of the day, I had realized that among family, friends, and faith, I also cling to a sense of humor. As I explained to my students, sometimes it is really difficult to see the bigger picture. If we can laugh at the ridiculousness of a situation or step back from a painful situation to look at that bigger picture from a different perspective, we can eliminate some of the heartache.
That is what I am trying to do today: step back and look at the bigger picture. This past week has been full of challenges on every front--home, work, personal, financial, etc., etc., etc. I don't even want to type what issues have been popping up this week. The icing on the cake (or sprinkles on the rim) was probably driving home late last night and realizing as I strain to see through the rain and fog, that yes. YES. Yes, that is a crack across my windshield. Insert eye roll.
WARNING: Whining alert. When I first met my ex-husband, I was working while he was in school. I was the one who really took care of the cost of living and paying bills. When he left college, we were a team. Everything that we had, we had because we worked together. He was my best friend. He was my emotional support. And now, he is a source of heartache. Sometimes it seems unfair. It seems as though good fortune has shined on my ex since he left me. And it seems that I have had a four-year run of bad luck. Maybe some of you have experienced this, too. But today, I am trying to step back and look at the bigger picture...clean off the rim and hope for better aim.